


I'm Sorry, My Love

by cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus/pseuds/cosima_geekmonkey_niehaus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fic based off my feelings after listening to the song “Lucy” by Skillet and thinking about Cophine. Delphine POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry, My Love

You walk along the walkway, next to the perfectly manicured lawn, your mind numb, your eyes unable to focus. It’s been two weeks, but it’s your first time making the trip - the first time you could bring yourself to get out of bed, put on clothes, and leave the house.

As you step off the pavement onto the grass, you feel a lurch in your stomach; you’re afraid of what you’re about to see, about to face. Moving through the rows, you know that whatever pain you are about to endure, you deserve it. You deserve worse.

You stop a few feet away and close your eyes. You can do this, you say to yourself. You owe her this much. You open your eyes and step in front of the small stone, and as you take in the sight in front of you, your knees go weak and sink down onto the grass.

Wiping away the tears on your cheek, you clear your throat and take a deep breath.

"Cosima," you mumble, a new tear leaking onto your skin. "I…I’m sorry it took me so long to come."

You clear your throat again, holding back the tidal wave of emotion trying to break through. There’s so much you want to say, but you don’t know how to put it into words because it’s already too late. You didn’t have a chance before she was gone, and nothing you say now can bring her back.

You think back to just a few weeks ago, when everything got worse so quickly, and how you tried to find a cure, but it was too late. She slipped away so quickly, you only had time to hold her as she faded, to say one last “je t’aime” before she left you forever.

More tears fall as you search for more words, but you are lost. There’s no way for you to articulate how hard you searched, how desperately you poured over journals, stayed up all night examining genetic sequences, all in hopes of saving her; you can’t begin to describe the pain you felt when you realized it was too late, and the way you sobbed in the lab all night after you were removed from her bed after she was gone.

"I’m sorry I couldn’t do better," you whisper, barely audible over your sobs, but you tell yourself she can hear. "I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, mon amour."

You lean forward and place your hand on the stone, on her name, hoping to feel her, just a piece of her warmth, her energy, her love. The tears fall hot and fast down your cheeks; you would give anything for one more moment with her, a final chance to hold her in your arms and tell her she is your whole world.

But, you are here alone and she is gone. You have nothing now but this patch of grass and the cold stone. There is no more hope left, because you have reached the end.

You continue to cry for a few more minutes, before collecting yourself enough to stand up. You wipe away the remaining tears and take another deep breath.

You turn to go, but then you look back at her name carved in the stone, and you can see her face for a minute - those warm brown eyes, her child-like smile - and a single tear rolls down your cheek.

"Je t’aime, my Cosima. Ma cherie. Mon amour."


End file.
